20 flawless Broadway ladies | 12. Kristin Chenoweth
“But there’s the beauty of life beyond the bubble. It’s possible for someone to see your wicked bits and still love you.”
Butterflies can’t see their wings. They can’t see how truly beautiful they are, but everyone else can. People are like that as well.
NO MONICA. HE DID NOT MEAN DOG. HE. DID.NOT. MEAN. DOG!!!!
Can I have these please
Give it to me.
I kinda want these very badly…
this is me. october 31st for the rest of my life
Fuck my brother and making my moms life hell.
Fuck you for making me feel like its MY fault. Like I’M the problem. Because you know what? I AM A FUCKING PRIZE. IF YOU DON’T FEEL LIKE CHERISHING ME, ILL FIND SOMEONE ELSE WHO WILL. SERIOUSLY. is this just a phase? or are we just OVER? Because we aren’t happy anymore. I want you to do and say all these things to make me feel better and you never will! I CANT MAKE YOU LOVE ME. so if you don’t. just fucking go. PLEASE? I cant take this anymore! I can’t take the fighting anymore. and i certainly can’t take feeling like I’m not good enough. I FUCKING cherish you. so FUCKING cherish me.
Fuck me for blaming myself and putting myself so far into a funk that i cant get out. I AM BETTER THAN THIS. I WAS MARIA AND SALLY AND DOROTHY AND DEMETER. AND I DONT GIVE A FUCK THAT THOSE WERE IN STUPID HIGH SCHOOL. IM GOING TOO MANY PLACES TO BE HATING MYSELF THE WAY I AM.
I’m gonna grow a fucking backbone and stop letting people stand in my way. either you’re with me or you’re against me.
I love you. So love me.
This video just made me really maternal and wish that I could have like 5 kittie babies all the time.
CAN I HAZ THEM
oh my feels.
so many feels.
…… yup.. still staring
"To me? Love is taking a chance…a leap. And putting all of your faith into one person, knowing it may not work out. you risk heartbreak
because you know, that if it DOES work out..you’ll be happier with that person even if it doesn’t last. and you won’t find that joy..
Unless you take that chance. So no matter how risky it may be, I will always take that leap
& never give up until I have nothing left to give.”
The question is…how much left do I have to give?
These cramps are killing me.
Today I accidentally blurted out to my mom that I want to start seeing a therapist.
Lately I’ve been going through a sort of self-image-crisis.
I really don’t know who I am or what I’m doing anymore. I have all these big dreams and I feel like I’ll never reach them.
I get stressed too easily. I don’t have enough self-motivation because I’m never good enough for myself. I make all these to-do lists trying to stay productive but I never seem to finish them. I find some excuse and then I just feel even shittier about myself.
I’m standing in my own way and I don’t know how to snap out of it.
Lately I feel like I have no one to really talk to.
ON top of feeling like a fat & lazy bitch, being at home isn’t as lovely as it used to be. Now that my brother is home all the time.Which is a completely different problem in its own. We’re constantly fighting and he’s constantly making me feel like I hate him. And in all honesty, I kind of do.
At this point, I don’t want anything to do with him. He’s an asshole.
And it frustrates me because he doesn’t give a shit about anyone but himself. He treats our house and family like dirt. And in a way I’m jealous. Because he gets in all kinds of trouble and doesn’t really excel at anything but the things he wants to do and my parents still don’t put their foot down. They come really close, grounding him or yelling at him. but the punishments never stick.
Me? I’ve lived my whole life being obsessed with perfection. Always killing myself to be better, and when I reach that, i still have to be better. I’m never good enough for myself. And though my parents would love me and be proud of me even if I was a loser, I still push myself to be perfect for them. Always have to have good grades. Do whatever they say. And my brother could care less. It must be nice to never be stressed or under pressure to be perfect.
I just don’t know how to will myself out of this, what feels like, a coma. Like I’m trapped in my own head. Promising myself oh you’re going to go far. You’re going to work out, and practice your musicianship and theory. you’re going to sing every day and not let your own fear stop your voice from progressing. you’re going to get back into dance. you’re going to get back into shape.
I promised myself those things at the beginning of the summer and I have yet to do any of them. I’ve been lazy. Careless. And yet I kill myself for it. Why can’t I just get up off my lazy ass, stop being so tired, and stressed. And just get things done? I’ll never reach my dream the way I’m acting.
I just wish I could relax mentally. I’ve been doing plenty of relaxing physically, but even when i’m laying in bed reading or watching tv. I’m thinking of all the things I should be doing. Stressing over them. If I could just relax mentally. Get over myself, and the little things, and just be proactive. Everything would be fine.
But I really don’t know how.
I feel stuck.
And like I need a big change.
Kristin Chenoweth performing “My New Philosophy” → Tony Awards 1999
This was me. This was me.
I bow before my lord.